By Raymond F. Angelini, Ph.D.
?Most of us dream about finding that special someone who will make us feel fulfilled and complete. We all dream about meeting the “right person”, the one we were meant to be with forever. But the real question is, “How do we find our soul mate?” Some people prefer to chalk it up to fate. While I do believe that fate can play a role, most of us will not find our soul mate without some effort.
Below are five keys to finding your soul mate:
It is more important to “be the right person” than to “find the right person”
Being the right person involves first and foremost knowing yourself. Getting to know yourself first will make it much easier for you to find a partner that shares your ideals and interests. Knowing yourself involves being completely open and honest about both your positive and negative qualities. If you are in denial about your negative qualities then you will tend to project them outward onto others, especially those you are closest to.
Acknowledging your negative qualities involves being willing to become involved in your own program of personal development. It means cleaning up bad habits and becoming the person you always wanted to be. This can be a daunting task, but if you take the time to truly get to know and improve yourself, you will be much more likely to attract the kind of person who can be a soul mate.
Don’t be afraid to be alone
If you ever hope to find your soul mate, you have to overcome the fear of being alone. As anyone who has gone through unsuccessful dating or marriage can attest, it is better to be alone and happy than in the wrong relationship and unhappy. You must remember that fear clouds your judgment; it prevents us from both finding and being with the right person.
Don’t compromise
It is quite common for people to date just for the sake of “dating”. This is a huge mistake. While dating can be an enjoyable and useful experience, it is not wise to go out with someone just to have a date. Dating someone should serve as an opportunity to explore and observe if the person you are dating has the qualities you are looking for. Usually, you are able to determine this after a few dates. Continuing to date someone because you are afraid to hurt their feelings will only delay you in meeting the person you really want to be with.
Stop listening to your ego and start listening to your spirit
Your ego is that conscious part of yourself that you use to live and interact with the world. It really represents your “false” or “external” self and is not who you really and truly are. Rather, your spirit is who you are at your core. If you hope to find your soul mate, you must consult this inner source of wisdom that knows better than we do which partner will be most likely to make us happy. Contrary to popular belief, soul mates usually don’t recognize each other at first glance. The person that is attractive to our ego is seldom the one our soul deeply desires to be with. In fact, our soul mate is often the one who looks all wrong to our ego. So, when it comes to finding your soul mate, you would be wise to not be blinded by infatuation and avoid those that make you swoon. Remember, true love is never blind!
Be persistent
Meeting your soul mate requires patience, so don’t despair or become frustrated if you don’t find him or her right away. Good things come to those who wait! Finding your soul mate can be the best journey you will ever make. So, don’t give up hope and enjoy the ride!
Dr. Raymond Angelini of Hew Horizons Coaching has been in private practice for over 15 years in Saratoga Springs and specializes in assisting individuals in finding and sustaining careers that are more rewarding, life-enhancing, and in keeping with one’s personal and spiritual values. For more information, pleases feel free to visit www.newhorizonscoaching.com or email Dr. Angelini at newhorizons@spa.net.