John Gray’s Best Of

We like lists. Grocery lists, To Do lists, Letterman’s Top 10.
We like lists. Grocery lists, To Do lists, Letterman’s Top 10. Look at a magazine cover and it’s almost always “Five Foods To Help You Lose Weight” or “The Top Three Mistakes Every New Parent Makes”. If you ask me, reading the article instead of watching the baby is mistake number one. But, in the spirit of ‘lists’ I offer up this year’s “Best Of” from my little corner of the world. Just to make it easy to play along, I broke them up into five simple categories.
Family
Best way to start any day – open your eyes and realize a child is standing over your bed watching you sleep hoping you’ll wake up and play.
Best thing to get your child if they are shy – a puppy.
Best thing to get your child if they are driving you crazy – a little brother.
Best thing to get your ex if they spend all their waking hours bothering you – a new girl/boy friend (funny how they leave you alone when they have someone new to torment).
Best thing to get yourself if you’re over 40 and you want to have a heart attack – a 24-year old girl/boy friend. For those scoring at home we also would have accepted the answers Viagra or Therapy.
Best way to get past a painful divorce – forgive.
Best place to take a child on a sunny Sunday afternoon – Hoffman’s Playland. They celebrate 57 years this summer; now that’s something!
Best public pool you’ve probably never been too – The Peerless pool in the Saratoga State Park. It’s huge, has a million life guards, a snack bar, water slide for the big kids and sprinkle area for the wee ones.
Best park you never think of taking the kids – Congress Park in Saratoga. They have the carousel, a small pond and beautiful paths to walk on.
Best place to take the kids if you have no money – Washington Park in Albany when the tulips are in bloom.
Best place if they like music – Alive at Five down by the river.
Best place to take the family even if you’re not Irish – The Irish 2000 Music and Arts festival in September. The music, vendors and costumes are a sight to see. And rumor has it they sell beer.
Entertainment
Best place to watch beautiful people with perfect bodies dance – “Dancing with the Stars” on Channel 10.
Best place to watch real people dance – Vapor at the Racino.
Best place to watch people blow an entire paycheck in an hour – On the slot machines not 20-feet from Vapor’s dance floor.
Best movie to come out in the last year that you’ve never heard of – “Taking Chance” starring Kevin Bacon. Trust me, it will move you.
Best movie in the past 20 years that no guy can resist – “Road House”.
Best movie in the past 20 years no woman can resist – “Under The Tuscan Sun”.
Best movie to find on AMC on a rainy Sunday afternoon – “The Godfather” – “Leave the gun, take the cannolis.” God I love that.
Best movie I ever saw as a child – “The Ghost and Mr. Chicken”.
Best reason to have Showtime – “The Tudors”.
Best show in re-runs – “The West Wing”.
Best short story I’ve ever read – The Last Rung On The Ladder by Stephen King. Only 12-pages; I read it almost 30 years ago, yet it still haunts me.
Best song I’ve heard in a long time – “It Won’t Be Like This” by Darius Rucker.
Best radio morning show – The Morning Rush on Fly 92.
Best DJ on local radio – Sean McMaster on WGNA. Super smart and funny and a good guy.
Best radio show if you want to learn something – Fred Dicker on Talk 1300.
Food, Drink and Shopping
Best bar for a drink after work if you want to rub elbows with a more professional crowd – Creo Stuyvesant Plaza
Best bar for a drink after work if you want to run into a lawyer or lobbyist – 677 Prime.
Best bar if you want to run into regular people who are just out to have some fun – JJ Rafferty’s in Latham.
Best bar for a drink after a show at Proctor’s in Schenectady – Apertivo Bistro.
Best bar if you like cute bartenders, great wings and sports – Graney’s in Albany.
Best bar if you want to run into Albany’s Mayor and Police Chief – See above.
Best place to take a date if you want simple romance – The Crooked Lake House in Averill Park. The fireplace alone is worth the trip.
Best hamburger stand – Jack’s Drive-In in Wynantskill.
Best onion rings – Ted’s Fish Fry.
Best soup – Panera served in a bread bowl.
Best chowder – Real Seafood.
Best salad bar – Ruby Tuesday.
Best calamari – Carmine’s.
Best place to find neat things for the house – New Old Stuff in Troy. Budget at least a half hour because once you walk in you won’t want to leave.
Best place to find neat things for your life – DeAnna’s on Route 43 in West Sand Lake.
Dating and Romance
Best place to network with friends – Facebook
Best place to have those same friends drive you nuts by asking you to fill out silly surveys – Facebook.
Best way to embarrass yourself – Tell everyone you just signed up for MyFace when you meant Facebook. I did this.
Best place to dump someone – Chucky Cheese. There’s so much chaos it won’t matter if they make a scene. And if they’re crying you can get them some game tokens.
Best reason to dump someone – They put their hands on you. No second chances with that stuff.
Best way to get dumped – Go on “The Bachelor”, get humiliated and then land a much better gig on “Dancing With The Stars”.
Best opening line – “If I didn’t introduce myself I’d always wonder. So hi.”
Best closing line – “They say you should forgive and forget. I forgive you, now I’m going to forget you.” Snap!
Miscellaneous
Best person to thank if you run into them on the street – anyone from the military.
Best person to thank if you run into them at school – any teacher.
Best person to thank if you run into a brick wall – any nurse. They are the unsung heroes of medicine.
Best stuffing at Thanksgiving – Your Mom’s of course.
Best feeling when you’re doing chores – Finding a crumpled $20 bill in the dryer.
Best reason to get to the gym – When you see a crumpled up 200-year old man in the mirror.
Best feeling in the world – When you help someone.
Best way to get to heaven – See previous answer.
And finally,
Best way to end the day – Standing over a child’s bed watching them sleep wishing this moment would never end.
John Gray is a Fox23 News anchor and contributing writer at the Troy Record. He can be reached at johngray@fox23news.com