Creepshow

I’ve spent enough time around a lumberyard to know an eight foot two by four when I see one, so when I needed a ten footer the other day I was surprised when the attendant brought me to a pile of eight footers. “These look like eight footers,” I objected. The young, clearly inexperienced, attendant took out his tape measure and replied, “Yes, but appearances can be deceiving”. Upon measuring the lumber we discovered that sometimes appearances are not deceiving, the reason the two by fours looked like eight footers was because they were eight footers.

We are constantly warned that things are not always as they appear, but the corollary of that is that things generally are as they appear, that’s why they appear that way! When selecting fruit at the market, we chiefly do it by how the fruit appears, we’re not permitted to taste it, and while we may occasionally find a piece of fruit that looks good but is actually spoiled, we seldom see one that is good when it appears rotten.

Joe Biden’s latest creepy behavior with the wife of incoming secretary of defense, Ash Carter, is just one more instance that will no doubt be explained away as “Joe being Joe”, or “not what it looked like”, or “Biden is just a physically expressive guy”… but another possible explanation for why Biden seems so creepy is because maybe he is creepy. Often things that look, walk, and quack like ducks, are ducks.

I’m a little younger than the Vice President, but I am old enough to have learned the propriety of certain actions even when my motives are innocent. I don’t smile at and pat little girls on the head in Walmart; I don’t massage young women’s shoulders and whisper in their ears, and I stare straight ahead while at the urinal. What has been misinterpreted from the Bible as “the appearance of evil” has been re-labelled as “optics”, that is what things look like. While things may not always be as they appear, we do each other a kindness by not “appearing” in an unseemly way. Those unconcerned with appearances are at a minimum oblivious to the sensibilities of others, and quite possibly exactly what they appear to be.

Much has been said about the “optics” of President Obama’s choice of tee-times. Often during times of national crisis, President Obama can be found on the golf course. His defenders are fond of using the word “optics” in their apologies for his seeming callousness, because saying that the “optics” look bad sort of assumes that it doesn’t represent how the President feels at his core… but what if it does? Let’s bring it down to a level more relevant to the rest of us. If a man loves golf, one would assume his wife would generally be ok with him pursuing this recreation so long as it didn’t interfere with his job, marriage or family responsibilities. But at times of crisis, even if there was little value in the husband’s presence, what wife would be ok with her husband hitting the links? “Honey, the bank called… they’re foreclosing on us”… “OK, I’m going golfing.” “Honey, I found drugs in Junior’s room” …”OK, I’m going golfing.” “Honey, the neighbor threw a rock through my windshield” …”OK, I’m going golfing.” “Honey, my mom died!” …”OK, I’m going golfing.” “Honey, I want a divorce!” ….”OK…” Possibly the husband is not as clueless and unfeeling as he seems, but we would expect better of a man. May I forward the thought that we have the right to expect as much of our President as Michelle would expect of her husband?

Rudy Giuliani made news this week in an off the cuff statement alleging that President Obama doesn’t love America. Predictably, there was a hue and cry from the left about how horrible Giuliani was for saying what so many of us have suspected. Now, while I am hesitant to join Rudy in making a blanket statement, sometimes it does look that way. Oh, he has all the tag lines in his oratory, “God bless America”, all that stuff; but, newsflash, sometimes politicians say things more from political expediency than because it’s what they know to be true… translation: they lie. So we are left to observe their actions to make judgments about who they really are. Again, to bring it to a level we can all relate to; if our golfing husband apologized repeatedly in public settings for how fat and stupid his wife was; if he was constantly blaming her for problems she had with the neighbors; if he never defended her when she was insulted; if he had explained when he married her that his goal for the marriage was to “fundamentally transform” her… could one blame his wife for doubting his love for her? And when he whispers “I love you” in the bedroom, who could fault her for suspecting the motives for those words, and responding “What is it, exactly, that you love about me?”

IMHO: We like to give people the benefit of the doubt. Things can look bad without actually being as bad as they look. Appearances can be deceiving. Optics don’t always align with reality. More often though, things are exactly what they look like, and one can’t ignore as a possibility what is in fact the probability. Maybe an eight foot two by four looks like an eight foot two by four because it is one. Maybe Joe Biden looks like a pervert because he is one. Maybe Susan Rice looks like a liar because she is one. Maybe Eric Holder looks like a racist because he is one. Maybe the President looks like an America hating, nation transforming, opportunity grabbing, golf loving, uncaring… tyrant, because he is one. Maybe our golf enthusiast really does love us, maybe all his insults and insensitivity are just his peculiar love language; who are we to judge? Then again, maybe this administration looks like a creepshow because these people really are creeps. Appearances are not always deceiving.